Blue Dancing Flame
From the moment I saw you, really saw you, sitting on the picnic table outside lighting hand rolled cigarettes with a zippo lighter and hair as smooth as silk, you intrigued me. You always had a interesting presence about you, a sincere curiosity, a provocative imagination always thriving in conversation.You believed in your admirable love for your mother and grandmother and honored the intelligent caretakers around you. You were a God fearing man. I walked up and asked your sign, and you said Capricorn but you can't remember your age, with a smile.
You had strong qualities that were attractive, and when I got to know you deeper, your ideals, your understanding of things and your blind intuition, your love of family, your obsession with the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit... I couldn't predict how deeply I could fall in love with a whole other person, who is a completely counterpart to me. Then, we got lost in the canyons, deep in snow, climbing the side of cliffs to overlooking contoured earth, moonlit sky, and soaking pools to our own exploration's delight. We've come so far. I've known you with so many adventures and our bliss, stupid-in-love moments shared.
And along the way, when I turned to share my deepest truths with you, I looked into blank eyes. When I held your hand and asked you what you were feeling, I noticed your words and your palm, ice cold. When I called upon you for your service, no longer were you home.
In my heart, that fire still burns, slowly, but the flames were no longer dancing. The flames were not hissing with the wind, nor changing color with cold air. The energy diminished, there was no man there to maintain a steady loving breath on the coals. And, he hadn't been there for quite some time.
In the middle of our honest moments, I rested upon knowing the constant fire cycling between us. It was true, whether we were honest and vulnerable to ourselves, or not. It burned and cooled. But, this time, I burned and you cooled.
The ground beneath your feet is the same ground I walk upon. I share this earth with you, I am here to reflect the vast universe around you and within you. I will not drift lightly into the abyss. The fire, now darkness, is here for our teaching.